Bratva Beauty (The Ivankov Brotherhood Book 4) by Sabine Barclay & Celeste Barclay

Author:Sabine Barclay & Celeste Barclay [Barclay, Sabine]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Oliver Heber Books
Published: 2022-10-31T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 19

Pasha

I’d already guessed it was Pablo who texted her. When she turned her phone screen down, I knew she didn’t want to risk me seeing his name flash. Timofey confirmed it when he radioed me from the park. I didn’t tell him to report what she did while on the walk. He thought I should know that she was talking to a rival. I let sleeping dogs lie when she returned. I wanted us to have a normal dinner like we’ve been having, and I wanted—needed—the intimacy that kinky sex would bring us. We’ve had sex a lot of different ways in two weeks. I know it hasn’t all been fucking. The rawness of my emotions tells me we’ve made love several times. I’m falling in love with her.

She shows the trust she places in me throughout this when she lets me restrain her and spank her. She submits to me, and it allows me to feel like I have control over the situation again. Every time I divulge something to her, the world feels like it’s spinning out of control. For a man who has survived by dominating every situation, it’s terrifying to relinquish it. Her submission resets the balance and restores my equilibrium. I don’t know if she understands that’s what she does for me, but I need it.

I think she gives me control because being with me is one overwhelming experience after another. I hate that. But when we’re having kinky sex, she doesn’t have to think about the outside world. She doesn’t have to be scared. She doesn’t have to choose anything. She doesn’t have to decide anything but whether to safe word. It frees her.

But I can’t ignore the nagging need to learn what she and Pablo talked about. I gave her a moment of privacy before I ran us a bath. Now we’re soaking together. She’s facing me as she leans back against one end of the tub, and I lean against the other. I’m turning into a stage five clinger. I don’t like her being that far away, only our legs touching.

“He’s been texting and calling me.”

She sounds scared, and I hate that even more. That’s not what I want.

“He’s your ex-boyfriend, and you seem on friendly terms with him. I won’t control who you can and can’t talk to, who you can or can’t be friends with.”

She nods, but she looks no more reassured than a moment ago.

“Has he been warning you away from me?”

“Yes.”

Fucking asshole. I mean, he’s right. But he’s still a fucking asshole for interfering.

“Do you agree with what he says?”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t disagree. Are you afraid I’m going to hurt you, that someone will hurt you, if you break up with me?”

“There are a lot of things I fear that I knew nothing about two weeks ago. But the one thing I have never, and will never fear, is you hurting me. You would never allow anyone to hurt me, either. You lost your shit when you thought Maks insulted me.

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